A Letter To My Inner Child by Dr Jessie Johansson
I want to thank you for everything you have done to protect me in the past 34 years. I know you have always just been trying to look after me and you tried for so long to alert me to something being wrong and I just didn't listen. I was so confused some months ago at the amount of pain I was in and had no idea that all along this was you.
I thought that my body had let me down and it stopping me doing all the things I loved doing. I could not imagine a future beyond where I was, I just felt stuck in a relentless cycle of symptoms and pain. My soul was completely drained, I questioned who I was and I didn't recognise the person looking back at me in the mirror.
From everything I've learned in my healing journey these last few months, I can now understand that my body was not letting me down, you were just trying to tell me something. They say your body whispers before it screams and looking back you whispered for a long time but you were too scared to scream. You carried on doing all that you knew to survive. You tried to prove that things were ok especially by still trying to achieve because that is how you've always got by and you think people like that.
It became relentless for you having to use so much energy trying to get by and eventually you screamed. You were scared to stop everything you had been doing because it became an unknown but you were also scared to carry on this way.
You thought you were betraying me at first but you knew this was for the best. You just had to find the best way to teach me. Over time I became more aware of you, realised you did everything from a place of love, and I realise now it is time for me to return that love and protect you. You are no longer fighting to be heard and I am no longer fighting to move beyond your whispers. I hear you and I work every day now to let you know you are safe. I am so grateful for you because you have given me strength I never knew I had, you've got me to this point in life and you've allowed me to see now that I am more than just achievements and doing things to make people happy.
Being who I am supposed to be is the most important thing in this life and I know you are cheering me on to live a life that lights up my soul. I will never ignore you again, from now on we are in this together. You don't need to scream any more because my heart is open to all your whispers 🤍
All my love,
Jessie